Volterra IMing
by Keira Higurashi
Summary: Sequel to The Cullen's And Jacob's Private Chatroom. This time, I'm hacking into VOLTERRA! R&R! Rated for some language.
1. TheFutureVamp Hacks In

**A/N I **_**think**_** I'm one of the first people to do this (or the first). This is like a sequel to The Cullen's (And Jacob's) Private Chatroom. Oh, and I have decided, I'm making a series of chatrooms! Up next is the werewolf chatroom! If you want to copy me, at least give me some credit? PLEASE? PLEASE WITH A COOKIE!?**

**Aro: IRuleTheWorld101**

**Marcus: IDon'tWant2BHere**

**Caius: IHaveAngerIssues89**

**Jane: PainProducingGirl808**

**Alec: URUnderMySpell403**

**Felix: ICanBeatUAll6**

**Demitri: ICanTrackUDown586**

**Kayla (AKA, me!): TheFutureVamp9**

**Lucy (My friend): IluvTheCullens11**

**Emmett (I know you're asking why I put him in here. The reason is . . . COOKIES!): BigAndBad09**

**Renata (Aro's body guard): DeflectingIdiotsSince'07**

**On with the IMing! **

**IRuleTheWorld101 is signing on.**

**PainProducingGirl808 is signing on.**

**IRuleTheWorld101: **Hey, girlfriend!

**PainProducingGirl808:** *eye twitches* Yes, master?

**IRuleTheWorld101: **Wha'sup home skillet?

**PainProducingGirl808: ***eye twitches again* _Yes,_ master?

**IRuleTheWorld101: **How's my homie?

**PainProducingGirl808:** I am fine, master. What exactly are you doing, master?

**IRuleTheWorld101: **I just wanna get down with my bad self, and stay cool! I'll be all the rage!

**PainProducingGirl808: **If you say so, master.

**IRuleTheWorld101: **Don't have to call me that now, dawg. Just call me dawg, or DJ Aro!

**PainProducingGirl808:** Yes, dawg. *eye twitches*

**IDon'tWant2BHere is signing on.**

**IRuleTheWorld101: **Hey, Gangsta Mark!

**IDon'tWant2BHere:** My name is Marcus, Aro. Enough of the 'in' crowd talk. I am sick of it.

**IRuleTheWorld101: **Don't ruin the party, Gangsta Mark! Lay back and relax!

**IDon'tWant2BHere: **For the last time, Aro. My name is _Marcus_. Get it right, idiot.

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Hmph! *ignores Gangsta Mark*

**TheFutureVamp9 is signing on.**

**PainProducingGirl808:** Who invited the dork?

**TheFutureVamp9:** Oh. My. Gawd. IT'S THE VOLTERRA CHATROOM!

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Wh-! Who told you that, huh? How'd you get in here, huh? Huh? HUH?! HUH?!

**TheFutureVamp9:** I hacked into it, of course!

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Hmm . . . You could hack into the Cullen's computer and hack it for us!

**TheFutureVamp9:** What!? I'm a friend of them, though! Aren't friends supposed to let them chat their ear off and make them carry their stuff?

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**PainProducingGirl808: **Lady, *puts hand on TheFutureVamp9's shoulder* we need to have a talk.

**TheFutureVamp9:** Hey! Don't call me lady, Jane! It makes me sound old!

**PainProducingGirl808:** How did you know my name . . . peasant?

**TheFutureVamp9:** I know your name because . . .*suddenly realizes what Jane called her* _Excuse me_, what did you call me?

**PainProducingGirl808: **A _peasant_, get it? Got it? Good.

**TheFutureVamp9:** You better watch your mouth Jane.

**PainProducingGirl808: **What are YOU going to do about it? Huh? Silence? That's what I thought.

**TheFutureVamp9:** *glares at Jane*

**PainProducingGirl808:** *glares right back*

**IRuleTheWorld101:** OOH! A STARING CONTEST! JANE! JANE! JANE! JANE!

**IDon'tWant2BHere:** *sighs* People. People. People. People. *chants weakly*

**TheFutureVamp9: ***eyes burning*

**PainProducingGirl808: ***eyes feel fine*

**BigAndBad09 is signing on.**

**TheFutureVamp9:** Emmett?! WHAT are you doing here? *uses it as a distraction and blinks*

**BigAndBad09:** Surprised, aren't you? . . . Cuz I am. HOW DID I GET HERE?!

**PainProducingGirl808:** Why IS the big fat guy here? And, hey! You blinked!

**BigAndBad09:** I am not fat! But my muscles are hunky, and chunky. *flexes biceps and kisses them*

**TheFutureVamp9:** I didn't know you were THAT vain Emmett. Rosalie's rubbing off on you, isn't she? And DID NOT!

**BigAndBad09: **. . .I don't know what you're talking about.

**IHaveAngerIssues89 is signing on.**

**TheFutureVamp9:** Oh, wow. All of the Volturi members have screen names starting with 'I'.

**PainProducingGirl808:** Don't I count?

**TheFutureVamp9:** No. You're just a guard member.

**PainProducingGirl808:** How do you know this stuff? *glares at Aro* You got drunk again, didn't you?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** WHAT?! Vampires can't get drunk! . . . 'Cept for me . . .

**PainProducingGirl808:** Wait . . . YOU! MISS PRISSY THANG! *points to TheFutureVamp9* YOU'RE NOT A VAMPIRE AREN'T YOU?

**TheFutureVamp9:** . . . No . . . I mean yes . . . Your point?

**PainProducingGirl808:** WE NEED TO SILENCE YOU . . . FOREVER!

**TheFutureVamp9: ***le gasp* Forever . . . forever . . . forever . . . forever . . . forever . . . forever . . .

**PainProducingGirl808:** ARO! SHE'S BORKEN!

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Borken?

**PainProducingGirl808:** I meant broken! Just a miss spelling!

**BigAndBad09: ***seizes chance to tease Jane* YOU MADE A MISTAKE! YOU MADE A MISTAKE! YOU MADE A MISTAKE!

**PainProducingGirl808:** Stop it! Stop it! *whines like a little girl* THAT IS IT! BORKEN IS A NEW WORD!!

**BigAndBad09: **Kayla's not broken/borken. She just goes into a weird trance whenever she hears the word 'forever'. Here, I'll break her out of the trance. Seth Clearwater wants to go out with you, Kayla . . .

**TheFutureVamp9:** WHAT?! Where is he?!

**BigAndBad09:** Just kidding.

**TheFutureVamp9:** Aw . . .

**PainProducingGirl808:** Are you serious? You'd go out with that piece of *bleep*?

**TheFutureVamp9:** *le gasp* Wash your dirty mouth, Jane! Seth Clearwater is awesome! And this fanfic is supposed to be kid-friendly!

**BigAndBad09:** No offense, Kayla. Seth is STINK-AY!

**TheFutureVamp9:** *le gasp again* Emmett! Go dump your complaints to a different chatroom.

**PainProducingGirl808:** Yeah! Make like a tree and branch!

**TheFutureVamp9: ***face-palms self* It's make like a tree and _leave_. And Emmett, GO TO A HIPPY FORUM!

**BigAndBad09:** A hippy forum? With rainbows and butterflies? AND NO SPORTS?!!

**TheFutureVamp9: **Even better! Now, I'll try to put this as calmly and polite as I can . . . GET THE *bleep* OFF!

**PainProducingGirl808: **Couldn't have said that better myself . . . well actually . . .

**TheFutureVamp9: **Just. Shut. Up.

**URUnderMySpell403 is signing on.**

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07 is signing on.**

**PainProducingGirl808:** ALEC! *glomps Alec*

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** Where's the hug for me?

**URUnderMySpell403:** Why are you always so darn excited to see me?

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** And why aren't you always so darn excited to see ME?

**PainProducingGirl808:** Because you're the closest thing to a girl around here!

**URUnderMySpell403:** *looks to imaginary audience* Do I look like a girl to you?

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** Hey! I am very feminine! And I'm a GIRL! And Alec, who the *bleep* are you talking to?

**URUnderMySpell403:** *looks to imaginary audience again* Pay no attention to the idiot trying to speak to me.

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** I SAW THAT!

**TheFutureVamp9: **NO FRIGGIN' WAY! IT'S ALEC AND RENATA!

**PainProducingGirl808:** Oh yeah. I forgot about YOU.

**URUnderMySpell403:** Who is _he_?

**PainProducingGirl808:** It's actually a _she_ . . . not that it matters . . .

**TheFutureVamp9:** *pokes everyone*

**PainProducingGirl808:** What the *bleep* are you doing? *wants to bite off finger*

**TheFutureVamp9:** Making sure you're all real . . . *pokes Alec again*

**URUnderMySpell403:** *likes attention* Hey, babe.

**TheFutureVamp9:** *is taken aback by Alec* What did you call me?

**URUnderMySpell403:** Babe, babe. Is there something wrong? *smiles seductively*

**IRuleTheWorld101:** IT'S SO CUTE! *shakes head back and forth like a fan girl*

**TheFutureVamp9:** That is just sick.

**URUnderMySpell403:** *surprised face* You don't find me irresistible?

**TheFutureVamp9:** HECK NO! WHY THE *bleep* WOULD I?

**URUnderMySpell403:** Because I'm devilishly handsome and sexy . . . And I'm cute.

**TheFutureVamp9:** What's a word to describe you . . . ? *thinks*

**URUnderMySpell403:** Sexy? Cute? Hand-

**TheFutureVamp9:** A pain-in-the-neck? No, but that's one word.

**URUnderMySpell403: -**some? Irresistible? Smart? Lo-

**TheFutureVamp9: **I got it!

**URUnderMySpell403:** Has one of my words struck a chord with you?

**TheFutureVamp9:** A self-absorbed pig!

**URUnderMySpell403:** *spirals into depression, curls up into a ball, and sucks thumb*

**BigAndBad09:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *records Alec with a video camera* This is making it's way to YouTube!

**TheFutureVamp9: **Remind me to ask you for the link, Emmett.

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** Me too! *snickers evilly*

**IHaveAngerIssues89: **Has everyone forgotten me?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Oh yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaahh. I forgot about something!

**IHaveAngerIssues89:** Yes, Aro. You forgot about me.

**IRuleTheWorld101:** I forgot about Kayla!

**IHaveAngerIssues89:** WHAT!?

**TheFutureVamp9: ***clears throat and has a deep voice* Uh . . . no. My name's Bob. Kayla went to another chatroom. *pulls at collar* Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just me?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Oh. Sorry Bob! We need to either bite her, or we have to kill her. What would you choose?

**TheFutureVamp9:** BITE HER! *answers too quickly*

**PainProducingGirl808:** *cough* Kill *cough* Her *cough*

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Yes . . . She could have a power that would be useful!

**BigAndBad09:** *goes over to Bob* Hey! You're not Bob!

**TheFutureVamp9:** *whispers to Emmett* SHUT UP!

**BigAndBad09:** Don't be shy! Bob's actually Kayla!

**TheFutureVamp9: **Thanks a lot Emmett.

**BigAndBad09:** You're welcome! Now, who's going to bite her?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** I WANNA BITE HER!

**URUnderMySpell403:** No. I WILL!

**TheFutureVamp9:** None of you are! I'll just ask Carlisle!

**IRuleTheWorld101:** Oh yeah. He has to bite you by tomorrow or we're going to kill you! YAY!

**TheFutureVamp9: **Oh, _joy_.

**IRuleTheWorld101:** I'm happy you're so happy you want to be a vampire who's going to be happy and the Volturi would be happy that you're a happy vampire who has happy powers that make us happy and make the Cullens unhappy and we're going to be so happy that we beat the Cullens who are going to be unhappy! *says that really fast*

**Everyone Except for IRuleTheWorld101:** Shut up.

**A/N How was that? Tell me your favorite response or part! REVIEW!**


	2. Alec's not a Girl!

**A/N THE NEXT CHAPTER. . . .This intercedes with The Cullen's (And Jacob's) Private Chatroom, so if you want to know how Kayla does, GO THERE! I am also very sorry for the wait, but to get more reviews, I'm going to answer yours!! MWUHAHAHAHA!!!!**

**Tall. Dark. Silent. Winged.: Thanks! * ****no sarcasm intended*******

**XxSephFan777xX: Thank you! I'm glad you thought it was good. ^^**

**kuaispeed: Thanks! I enjoyed writing those parts.**

**k (anonymous reviewer): I'm glad you love it. I had fun writing it~!**

**DaniellePhantom: Thanks! I'm not sure if it's the best out there, but I'm glad you like it as much as you do.**

**annabeth swan-Katrina Potter: Seriously? Thanks a lot~!**

**Eris not Eros: LOL. Yeah, I'm not sure WHAT would happen if the Volturi REALLY had IMing.**

**IRuleTheWorld101:** YOU ALL KNOW NOTHING! THE WORLD KNOWS NOTHING! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHO I AM!

**IRuleTheWorld101 is signing off.**

**TheFutureVamp9:** Aro is strangely reminding me of someone . . . Hey, Emmett? Wanna come with me to ask Carlisle to bite me?

**BigAndBad09: **OKEE DOKEE!

**TheFutureVamp9 is signing off.**

**URUnderMySpell403:** MR. BUFF GUY! *kneels to Emmett* TAKE ME WITH YOUSS!!!!! I WANNA BE THERE TO HOLD HER HAND!

**BigAndBad09:** You just wanna be there to flirt with her. And, hey! I thought you were supposed to be in a swirling fury of depression!

**URUnderMySpell403:** Yeah, pretty much and for the other thing you said, no comment.

**BigAndBad09:** You did so! See, look at that right there! You said, 'no comment'. That means you commented on it by saying 'no comment'! GOOD BYES TO YOU ALL! And one last thing Alec, you need to get a hobby.

**BigAndBad09 is signing off.**

**URUnderMySpell403:** . . .I'm going back to my corner of woe.

**PainProducingGirl808:** Hey! You got that from Ouran High School Host Club!

**URUnderMySpell403:** . . . Your point?

**PainProducingGirl808:** YOU ACTUALLY WATCH THAT?!!

**URUnderMySpell403:** Yes, but you know too much about it to not know about it . . .

**PainProducingGirl808:** EH?! YOU FILTHY COMMONER!! TAMAKI IS WAY BETTER THAN YOU! AND WHAT IS WITH ALL THE PERIODS LIKE THIS: . . . ?

**URUnderMySpell403:** You and I got the commoner remark from OHSHC, didn't we? *wiggles eyebrows* And Tamaki is a self-absorbed pig.

**PainProducingGirl808:** You mean like you?

**URUnderMySpell403:** Ye- . . . NO!

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** YOU GOT BEAT! OOH!

**URUnderMySpell403:** Where's the love, man? *in a hippy voice*

**PainProducingGirl808:** Say that one more time. *eye twitches*

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** Wow, Jane. You '*eye twitches*' a lot!

**PainProducingGirl808:** *turns head around slowly and glares the death glare at Renata*

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07:** NO! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING! *sinks to the floor*

**DeflectingIdiotsSince'07 is signing off.**

**PainProducingGirl808:** Finally. That boy's getting on my nerves.

**URUnderMySpell403:** That's a girl, you know.

**PainProducingGirl808:** Who's a girl?

**URUnderMySpell403:** . . . Never mind.

**PainProducingGirl808:** THERE! RIGHT . . . THERE! *points at the screen* YOU JUST DID ALL OF THOSE PERIODS AGAIN!

**URUnderMySpell403:** Your point?

**PainProducingGirl808:** IT'S ANNOYING! A-AND IT GETS ON MY NERVES! YOU REALLY ANNOY ME SISTA!

**URUnderMySpell403:** I . . . am . . . not . . . A FRICKIN' GIRL!

**PainProducingGirl808:** What do you mean? Look at your boobies. *points at Alec's body*

**URUnderMySpell403:** *face-palms self*

**IDon'tWant2BHere:** Jane, we need to have a talk.

**URUnderMySpell403:** She is an idiot.

**IHaveAngerIssues89:** Yes, we all know that. But she has powers to make us all DIRTY RICH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA!

**IDon'tWant2BHere :** For the last time Marcus, we might live in a castle, but we are not rich, and stop laughing so evilly. You make us all look villainous.

**PainProducingGirl808:** But being evil is almost as fun as trying to say Peter piper picked pickled pickles!!

**URUnderMySpell403:** Peter piped a pickle's ass?

**IDon'tWant2BHere:** What?! What happened to the censors on here?!

**IHaveAngerIssues89:** Petey had a little lamb?

**URUnderMySpell403: **No, no, I'm pretty sure it's Peter popped somebody's cap.

**IDon'tWant2BHere:** *shrugs * Maybe it's Pete shoved a pipe up a—

**URUnderMySpell403:** Pickle? Or was it A Piece of a pickle piped up a Peter.

**IHaveAngerIssues89: **No, wait, I KNOW it's Pete of the pickle that had pickled pickles told me to tell you to GIVE IT UP ALREADY!

**PainProducingGirl808:** Yeah, guys! Geez, it's Peter . . . piped pickles in my pickled pickle . . . mustard?

**IHaveAngerIssues89:** . . . . . . . . . If anyone asks, I don't know you guys.

**IHaveAngerIssues89 is signing off.**

**TheFutureVamp9 is changing their name to LovelessDX892.**

**LovelessDX892: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**PainProducingGirl808:** Whoa, Alec, I think she's catching up with your period record!

**URUnderMySpell403:** OH MY GOD SHE'S PMSING??!!

**PainProducingGirl808:** . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**URUnderMySpell403:** Oh . . . you didn't mean . . .

**IDon'tWant2BHere:** Well, this is awkward . . .

**PainProducingGirl808:** Who asked for your opinion?!

**IDon'tWant2BHere: **Geez, Kayla's not the only one who's going a bit coo-coo. *twirls finger by head *

**PainProducingGirl808:** I CAN READ YOU IDIOT!!

**LovelessDX892:** . . . . it hurts . . . . *whimper*

**PainProducingGirl808:** And I can make it hurt even MORE!!

**IRuleTheWorld101 is signing on.**

**IRuleTheWorld101: **Hey, guys! I got some new mail from our fans!! One in particular really stood out! They want us to make a PSA to make the world a better place!

**IDon'tWant2BHere and URUnderMySpell403:** *nods*

**PainProducingGirl808:** What's a psssssah?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** What?

**PainProducingGirl808:** You know, P S A, pssah?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** NO! Don't be ignorant, dawg! Everyone knows the PSA!

**PainProducingGirl808:** So it's just sah?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** No, PSA stands for something!

**PainProducingGirl808: **I know! It stands for PSAH!

**Everyone but PainProducingGirl808: **. . . . .

**PainProducingGirl808:** Unless you're talking about PMS.

**IRuleTheWorld101: **NO! PSA!

**PainProducingGirl808:** So, is like PMS and PSA the same thing?

**IRuleTheWorld101:** *facepalm*

**BigAndBad09 is signing on.**

**BigAndBad09:** PSA stands for public service announcement.

**IRuleTheWorld101:** THANK you Emmett!

**BigAndBad09:** In PSA, the P is not silent. . . the A is.

**PainProducingGirl808 and URUnderMySpell403: **Ohhhhh.

**IRuleTheWorld101:** WHAT?!

**BigAndBad09: **So it sounds like deflating balloon.

**IRuleTheWorld101:** How is it ANYTHING like deflating a balloon?!

**BigAndBad09:** Oh, you know. . . . .sssss.

**A/N Hope you liked it! Tell me your favorite response. ^^**


End file.
